Judy Blume revealed the secrets of girlhood and it blew my mind at the age of ten. The characters in her book felt all the complex feelings I felt at their age from experiencing bullying, feeling embarrassed yet grown wearing training bras. As well as crushing on boys and impatiently waiting for my period to hurry up and arrive already, All the while still being a kid.
Hitting puberty at age nine gave me such complex feelings towards my body, I was a child in a rapidly changing body. I became taller and chubbier than my peers, my body was bringing unwanted attention towards myself and I absolutely hated it. My mother and my grandmother would comment on the fact that I was growing boobs already and gave me training bras to help with the sudden change around my chest. Since I was only ten not many people I knew my age were wearing training bras so I became to feel quite alienated. I didn’t know what to do with my body, I would often ask my mother if I looked “full” meaning did I look fat. She gave me resources to help me feel more at ease with my body and told me I was beautiful just the way I was. Since my mother and grandmother hit puberty later than I did, I very much felt alone in my experience. However that was until I discovered the world of Judy Blume.
The first Judy Blume book I read was “Are you there God? it’s me, Margaret.” In which on page one there is a sentence which reads: “I caught my mother sniffing under her arms, she always does that when it’s hot and humid, to make sure her deodorant is working. I don’t use deodorant yet, I don’t think people start to smell until they’re at least 12.” Which when ten year old me read that line I began relating to this character, I also didn’t use deodorant yet. As I went on to read the rest of the book I found myself relating more and more, someone finally understood me. I had been let into Nancy Wheelers secret club, I wore a training bra, I wrote down the names of boys I secretly liked and I had asked my mother to buy “Libra girls” (pads) just in case my period might come soon enough. I placed pads and a heat pack in a small little box under my bed (which I never ended up using until I was fourteen and as soon as it came I wanted to take back all that waiting and wishing.) Religion and God was mentioned a lot in this book, which I didn’t entirely understand why. If you read my piece on religion, you’ll know I didn’t grow up religious. However I liked that god gave Margaret a place to confide her worries and fears about growing up to, Margaret and Judy Blume was that to me.
The second Judy Blume book I read was “Blubber”. Which was the first book that made me cry, as I found out I wasn’t alone in experiencing bullying as a young girl. I was around eleven when I read this book, however just like the character Linda, the year prior I had been bullied by the girls in my class. One of them said I was “Fat and ugly” behind my back, the girls in my class excluded and ran away from me many many times. Judy Blume knew how cruel girls could be to one another, from the age of 10+ we are taught to brutally judge each other’s appearances and differences. Just because I was bullied didn’t mean I didn’t judge others too. Like the character Jill I was also a bystander to seeing a young girl be bullied by the same girls who bullied me. I shamefully joined in on the harsh commentary because I was relieved to be free from it being towards myself. One day I was talking to the girl who was being bullied, I began telling her that the girls in our class and me didn’t like her very much. In that moment her mother walked into school and saw the young girl upset, her mother started to yell at me “how dare you make her upset, she’s moved to different school’s because of people like you.” I began to shake and cry, as I had a sense of reality knocked into me, I was becoming one of the bullies. When I went to bed that night I had never felt so much shame and guilt, that I decided I would profusely apologise to the girl the very next day. Which I did and we ended up actually becoming friends as I never wanted to make someone feel unwanted like I had been made to feel too. Nine years later I realise that a parent yelling at another child that isn’t their own isn’t okay, however I do believe I may not have changed my behaviour if it wasn’t for that wake up call. Judy taught me that whether you’re a Linda, Jill or both that kindness to one another ultimately wins in the end.
I’ve read other books written by Judy, which I have loved too. However these two books are the ones that opened my eyes up and made younger Sunday feel a little less alienated. Judy’s book “Forever” I was told I could read it when I was older as a young girl, it’s recently just been added to my bookshelf. I’m waiting for when the time is right to read it, as I haven’t experienced my “first love”yet and just like with my period, I’m impatiently waiting for it.
so thanks Judy for revealing the complexities of girlhood, Judy’s writing made growing up just that little bit less frightening.
Lovedddd this piece! ❤️